Foto · linnen in de zon
3 months · 6 sessionsOnline
The 3-month path
For when you want to catch the pattern while it happens, and slowly choose something else.
Read moreYour phone is in your hand before your feet touch the floor.
Breath · shortSomeone asks if you have a minute. You say “of course” and your stomach tightens.
Stomach · tightIn a meeting you feel the mood shift before it's said, and you notice yourself judging the one who talks too long.
Jaw · setA short reply to your message. You read it 3 times, looking for what you did wrong.
Chest · heavyThe work is done and good. You open it one more time, just to be sure.
Shoulders · upIn bed, replaying something you said, and a message from someone you're seeing that you can't quite read. Tired and wide awake at the same time.
Whole body · onNone of this looks like a problem. That's exactly why it's so easy to miss.
What you call being reliable might also be why you can't say no without feeling guilty for days. Patterns like this start early, as a smart way to stay safe or loved, and your body kept them.
That's why understanding yours hasn't changed it. By the time you think about it, your shoulders have already risen and the yes is already out. It lives in your body, faster than your thoughts, and calming your nervous system alone won't move it either.
It moves when you do something different in the moment, in your body and your behaviour, often enough that your body learns a new default. None of this is floaty, it works the way your hands learned to drive. In my sessions we slow that moment down and stay with it, at a pace that feels safe, long enough for you to choose something else, again and again.
I used to rehearse conversations before every dinner. Who I would talk to, what I would say, how I could be interesting enough for people to like me. Even festivals made me nervous. I'd feel tired and go anyway with a mask on, or I'd stay home because being judged felt worse.
Conflict scared me even more. 1 argument could feel like the moment someone would leave.
Somatic work helped me feel what is true for me, and how much capacity I really have on a given day. Today I can start a hard conversation from a calm and connected place, and I notice when someone puts up a wall, and how to meet them there.
Today I'm a somatic practitioner, currently completing the Somatic Inquiry Training with Ryan Rose Evans. I work with people online, wherever they are.
Read my storyNotice your shoulders right now.
We start with a moment from your week where the pattern showed up. You tell it in your own words, and I ask what you notice in your body while you do. Sometimes that's a lot, sometimes almost nothing, and both are a good place to begin.
You decide how far we go. We meet online every 2 weeks for 3 months, so there's time in between to notice the pattern in real life.
For when you want to catch the pattern while it happens, and slowly choose something else.
Read moreFor when you want to feel what this work is like before you commit to more.
Read moreCoaching is not therapy. I don't diagnose or treat. If what you're carrying needs a therapist, I'll tell you in our first conversation and help you find one. In crisis, please contact your doctor or a crisis line, such as 1813 in Belgium or 113 in the Netherlands.
If you recognised yourself somewhere on this page, I'd love to hear where.
A free clarity call of 30 minutes, online. No preparation needed.
Book a clarity callYes. Many people start there. We begin with small things, like your feet on the floor or where your breath goes.
Yes. You can be somewhere you feel at ease.
That's welcome, and you stay in charge of the pace. We can always pause.